Tuesday January 10, 2006
My friend Jody asked me if I had any Coal Miner jokes yet. Well Jody, I actually don’t have any jokes about mining, but I have a few about miming so I’ll share those with you.
How many mimes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One to mime screwing in the lightbulb and twelve to die waiting for help.
A: Knock knock.
....
A: knock knock.
....
...
A: Knock knock.
...
A: God damn it. Stop miming and say who’s there!
B: Who’s there?
A: 1 miner
B: 1 miner who?
A: 1 miner who lived, the other 12 died.
Why did the mime cross the road?
Becuase he could, unlike the 12 miners that died last week.
There Jody, I hope you enjoyed my mime jokes. I’ll let you know if I come up with any jokes about miners.
xo
amanda
Monday January 2, 2006
Yesterday I realized that my second biggest fear in life is having a retarded child. I’d rather lose a limb than have a retarded child. The only thing I fear more is death. I know it’s irrational; that it’s highly unlikely that I will have a retarded child and that 99% of the time they can detect these before it’s too late to abort, but what if they don’t? What If I’m in the .0000001% that doesn’t find out her child is retarded until it’s too late? I can’t kill it or I’ll go to jail, even if it is retarded and if I let it drown in the bathtub they might get me for negligence. And you can’t really even give it up for adoption because nobody wants to adopt a retarded child. I know people with retarded family members say that their retarded children bring joy to the world and that they see them as a special blessing, and I understand why you have to tell yourself that, but come on, you have to admit that all those special little joys are significantly outweighed by the joy of simply not having a retarded child.