Cleverest Dirtiest Sketch re-cap
Sunday April 16, 2006
Cleverst Dirtiest re-cap
Sorry I couldn’t be there last night for the show but I hear that it was one of the best Dirtiest Sketch shows (everyone was really clever!) and Colton tells me that Sharon Stone looked amazing!
Anyway, I asked Sharon to write up a recap of the show and here’s what she sent me:
First off, I looked amazing for 48 years old last night. The fact that I was asked to host is proof that there are juicy roles for older women in Hollywood, you just have to be honest about your age. I said it last night and I’ll say it again, I’m proud to be 48.
Judging the show last night we had 7 Mensa members (Mensans are people with high IQs, a lot of people thought that I was in Mensa after my role in Basic Instinct because I act so smart in the movie, but I’m not. I’m just a real great actress who is proud to be 48.) We also had Paul Rust who I heard pooped on the stage a few weeks ago. He seemed very sweet but I think he’s gay because at one point Colton asked him to give me a kiss and he kissed Colton! My friends call me gay-dar because after Basic Instinct 1, every straight man in America wanted to have sex with me, so if a man doesn’t want to have sex with me he is obviously gay. We also had an accountant (RJ Mills) present to tally the votes for us.
After I played a clip from my movie Basic Instinct 2, we got started with the competition. First was a sketch by Tom Vaughan about a father having sex with his 9 year old daughter. The 9 year old was played by an actress that was probably at least 11 or 12, which just goes to show you how Hollywood won’t even let 11 year old girls be their real age.
Next was a very clever sketch about girls who take their vibrators to Philosophy class by Chris Farah. Then we had the Straight A Students who did a sketch about a pile of DPing doctors who were stuck in each other. Then the Mistresses dirtied the stage for the first time getting puke, blood and piss all over the stage (and one poor soul in the front row) in a sketch about Dominatrixes humiliating a guy.
Emily Mills, the stage manager, mopped up the mess as Colton discussed how amazing I look for 48. Then we had a sketch about the history of Spooge Wipes by Spencer Dobson, which I am told is the first of a three part series of sketches he plans on performing at the Dirtiest Sketch in LA.
Next The Peeps performed a very clever sketch written by Michelle Thorne about sorority Jesus. The Peeps ended up taking 3rd place in the show. They were followed by two girls who go by Karla and portrayed a talking anus and vagina. Very clever indeed, Karla took 2nd place.
Then Chris Stangl and Arlen Lawson took the stage performing both the dirtiest and the cleverest sketch of the night. Chris and Arlen received high scores from every one of the Mensans (five 5s and a 4) except for the guy who worked in a think tank (he gave them a 1, go figure.) Apparently sticking a banana up your butt and then eating it scores high with the high IQ society, because that’s what Chris did to win.
It’s hard to follow that, but The Screaming Frogs who always have the best make-up and costumes did great job with a very funny Easter themed sketch featuring Jesus, the Easter Bunny and the Devil.
Then Volatile Organic Chemicals performed a sketch written by Bennie Arthur which I do not remember (hey 10 out of 11 is pretty good for a 48 year old! That Ginko Biloba I took last night is working!)
Then Two Clever Girls (Codi Fischer and Laura Condi) tried to sell Tampons that they stuck up their noses, covered in poop and puked on. Surprisingly, nobody bought any.
So that was the show. Congrats to Chris and Arlen, Karla, and the Peeps! Go see Basic Instinct 2 and don’t be late- you won’t want to miss the first scene!
XO
Sharon Stone